Why is it so hard for me to PLAY

I'm a big list maker and a very task oriented mother. My poor children! I just don't make time to sit down at their level and just PLAY. Recently I have been poring over information of why I am the way that I am and what I can do to change it.

I've learned what a powerful, simple tool play is to a happy home. My kids are happier when I play with them. They behave better, they listen better, even I'm happier after one of our laughing fits. And because they want to repeat these games so many times, it's a quick, easy way for us to get the most out of our interactions.

Despite knowing all this, when I get caught up in the day and the business of life it's easy to put play on the backburner. I keep having to relearn how important playing with my toddler and children is.

According to the American Bureau of Labor's recent findings of how much moms play with their kids under 6 I'm not alone. Full Time working moms play 11 min. a day, Part Time working moms play 21 minutes, and moms who stay home with an extra 36 hours a week over their FT colleagues play only 50 min. a day. In comparison, each day Americans watch 2.62 hours of the boob Tube.

Well, I hope we can all spread some love and brighten our kids' day with a little more play.

Creating a Positive Atmopshere in the Home

1. 10 Minutes A Day For Each Child. Focus a minimum of 10 minutes a day on each child when they are enjoying you. This helps build a strong connection with Mommy. You want his greatest pleasure to be spending time with Mommy.

2. ENJOY Your Children. YOU spend a minimum of 10 minutes a day enjoying your children. We all know how fast time flies by. ENJOY THEM!! Make sure to savor their childhoods and not get bogged down by all the diaper changes, carpools and meals. Take time out of each day to watch them play or try new things. Step back and take it in, and try to seal it in your memory. Take in the joy they are giving you and realize what a blessing it is.

3. Just Because I LOVE YOU. Once a week, do something for your children ‘just because you love them.’ This shows them that you love them for who they are, not what they do. Don’t have this be a reward or something they need to earn, rather have it be purely because you love them, and tell them that! For instance, ‘We are going to ice cream today JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU and I want to spend some special time with you!’

4. Physical Touch. Make sure to have physical touch with your kids at least three times a day. Hug them throughout the day, and pat them on the back. Give them high fives and smile at them. Physical touch is another way to give them attention for good behavior!

5. 4:1 Ratio of POSITIVE FEEDBACK vs Negative Consequences. Be conscious of how often you are giving your children positive feedback vs. negative consequences. You should be giving them four positive feedbacks for every negative consequence you say to them. This can be anything that provides goodwill, such as praising, smiling, lovingly touching, and talking with them. Magnify the positive while giving them your full attention and energy. Create opportunities for your children to succeed, then take it a step further and explain to them how they succeeded once they do.