Escaping the Perfection Deception

I was the discussion leader this month and I have never lead a discussion before so I had a few mixed words here and there and I learned what not to do for next time. Anyway I can't be perfect, right?

This month our articles were on Perfection. I can honestly say that this is something that I do not struggle with but I have a few things in my life where I try to strive for absolute perfection. The article started out with the question of whether or not you like Mother's day or if its just a "feel guilty that your not doing your best as a mother" day. I have never had that feeling either on my 6 mother's days that I have had. I really look forward to being spoiled and pampered by my husband and children. I don't care so much what they give but what they do to serve me on that day.

The sooner we can recognize how crazy and unrealistic some of our self-imposed expectations are, the sooner we will be free to be truly great mothers. I love that line in the article because I find myself at times consumed in why my children are doing the things they do that I expect them to know that I don't focus in on just enjoying the teaching moment.

My expectation of motherhood before kids was focused on alot of just play time and just getting down on the floor with them and just being a kid myself. Fast forward to now and I can only count only a few times when I can actually remember doing it and enjoying it with them. I get wrapped up in my selfish desires and neglect them. I didn't expect this to happen.

Four suggestions for putting out the perfectionist in you:

1. Strive for excellence, not perfection. We constantly tell our kids to "Just do your best!" and yet we don't offer ourselves the same kindness. To perfect means to improve, refine, hone and workon. It's more about striving than arriving.

2. Practice contentment and gratitude. Force yourself to count your blessings. I have started a gratitude journal but i don't use it very often. Just take the time to notice whats around you.

3. Be your own kind of mother. Elder Ballard said, " There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." As mothers were not in the same boat but in the same ocean. Comparing each other's boats and constantly keeping track of who is ahead does nothing to get us where we are trying to go; it only distracts us from the care of our precious cargo. I compare my motherhood with another blog that I read and I just enjoy reading her writing and the way she handles things with her children but at times I feel like I am comparing my life to hers and then I get down on myself. I don't do this very often but I do it with her because I find myself one day in her position.

4. Remember that mothering is not about you. OF course you need to have your own "me time" at times to just realize how much you really do love and miss your children. Its a good thing! Our children's needs are very basic and according to them you are at the top of their list. There will be plenty of years in my long life where I will be able to fulfill my "me time" activities. Someday there will only be pictures and memories of the recital, lemonade stands, etc. So now is my time to bask in the fistfull of flowers, the open mouth kisses and tickle bugs and those trusting eyes that are looking up to you.

My quest for perfection is not so much about how my home looks as how it feels. It's not so much about how I look but about how my kids feel. Try each day to make my kids feel loved and happy, secure and capable of meeting the challenges of life.

My new favorite quote, "With a positive attitude and gratitude always in my heart there will be perfect days!"