Love Languages

Susan did an absolutely great job presenting the "5 Love Languages" session. Right at the beginning she took us through the emotion of having our first child and the first few moments of the baby being placed into our arms. She delivered it with so much passion and conviction it was incredible. She was so concerned about it but she did wonderful.

I've read the book and have been aware of the love languages particularly the last 2 months but I still learned more about my own, Trent's and our childrens' love languages yesterday as she went into more detail and posed many different situations that I hadn't even thought of before.

It was another eye opening experience for me.

Sarah

Mine is definitely, without a doubt, Acts of Service! My secondary however is Quality Time and those two just go hand in hand in my opinion. I feel and show my love by doing kind deeds and acts of service to those I come in contact with. I tend to be the first one to volunteer myself for a lot of things, but I do it in moderation because I don't want to juggle too many projects.

I've concluded why I struggle so much to prepare meals and cook in the kitchen... I want to have someone right by my side with me helping me and serving right along with me! Is that funny or what!?!

I give and give, and love to fill my bucket, but its hard to see my children not understand my love language. I wish I could just tell them that cleaning their room all by themselves would show me that they love me but I've tried and it didn't work. I wonder what age that will happen?? When will they recognize that they need to be of service to me or others to show that love language to me?

Trent

Trent's love language is Physical Touch and his secondary is Quality Time. As his wife, in order for me to show him I love him I need to grab his hand when he least expects it, rub his back, etc. For both of us we really enjoy just being together and it doesn't matter what we are doing. That is why we travel a lot especially alone as a couple.

Reeghan and Paetan

My girls are both Quality Time and their secondary is Gifts. Reeghan always uses the line when every she gets frustrated with us that she wants to leave our family. I know its not a good line for her to use, but I finally figured out that she just needs me to spend "time" with her, which I have really neglected to do, especially the last few weeks. She's growing up so fast that I want to take this time to show her that I really do love her. Its also important to use eye contact while spending time with them as well.

Paetan, on the other hand, is only 5 and she can still change her love language(s). As Susan talked about her daughter Emma, who is a very well rounded person and responds well to all 5 of the love languages, I thought of Paetan. Paetan enjoys all of them and I've recognized that she feels love in all 5 of those areas, which is a good thing. At times I wish I really enjoyed Physical Touch or Gifts but those two are at the very bottom of my list.


How do you figure out what your child's language is?
First, ask yourself this question: What are they constantly asking for?
Next, ask your child:
How do you know Mommy and Daddy love you?
Or you can give them an actual 'love language test' as is found in the Love Languages books (In the kids edition of the book, there is a "kid friendly version" of the test)

As I push away the girls while I am working on 'busy work' or my own little projects, it tells them that I don't love them and I'm withholding something... am I conditionally loving them? A great idea, to overcome this, is to spend 30-40 minutes before you have to go tackle a "to do" and spend that time focused on them and what they want to do and need and then after a time limit is set then you can go do your "to do".

This not only fills us but more importantly it fills their love bucket as well.

It's a very interesting ideology and I am so fascinated by it and wonder what other people's love languages are so that I can use them to better show love towards them. So let me know, ok?

Susan and I plan on presenting this in our workshops and retreats that we will be doing in the future but go ahead and go by the book. The book is written for adults, kids, teens, and even a Men's edition. Its written by Gary Chapman (same name, but no, the author is not my father-in-law)