A Lesson to be learned.....

What a mom day this has become. To start off we are Day 3 of school and the girls are thrilled as can be to be back to school and we have begun our Lets Play Music classes as well click here if you want to learn more about that. So schedules are put back into place and life seems to be flowing nicely.

Trent's mission friend and his wife and daughter came for a visit from Scottsdale, AZ. Their daughter, Miley, is 4 years old and my girls hit it off instantly with her and they just really enjoyed each other and we had no contention which was great. They invited us to go to dinner because they are staying with us and we suggested Ruby's diner on the Oceanside Pier. It a family fun atmosphere and the kids really enjoy walking the distance to get to it.

On our way back after dinner Reeghan and I were at the tail end of the group and out of the blue she said, "Mom I enjoy being with you, Do you have space in your heart for me?" Of course I immediately answered YES! and we had a special moment together walking along that pier and it was in this moment that I needed to fill her love bucket. Reeghan wanted me to just be with her and spend time alone with her even if it was walking together.

It was ironic that this situation would come up because the last two days Susan and I have been planning our Power of Mom retreat, which by the way we have a few spots left, and we were discussing what we'd like to present to the group. The love languages kept coming back to us because after our first retreat we concluded that all we learned all steamed from what each of our individual child's love language is and the order that they are born in. Its a very fascinating concept and philosophy and I am eager to learn more.

As that moment happened with my daughter I recognized that she loves quality time with me and I was speaking her love language and she preceded to tell me that I was the best mom in the world and that she enjoys asking me questions and learning from me. I then asked if she would prefer me spending time with her or a gift because gifts is her second love language and she told me that gifts don't matter that she would rather just be with me.

I was so grateful for that experience because when we returned home the girls all went up to play and then we hear this screaming and crying. Reeghan decided to throw a plastic bracelet into the toliet that the other two girls were playing with and yada yada yada. DRAMA! So Reeghan began throwing her upset fit kicking the floor and the walls and just letting us know that she was angry and frustrated. This was all happening while we were downstairs having a conversation so I causally went upstairs and decided beforehand that I would remain calm.

I get up there and she is just out of control and just not settling down. I tried the trick that always seems to work at least with my girls and that is to smell the roses and blow the bubbles concept. A deep breathing technique. It didn't work this time. She was just far from calming down. But I kept telling myself to remain calm. I was so glad I followed through it was rough and wanted to throw in the towel but in the end it worked out.

I had to leave and let her vent some more by herself and then I came back in a second time and she then told me why she was so frustrated. She felt left out and not loved. She told me that I only loved her this much (her hands signing with palms facing eachother only an inch apart) and that I loved Paetan and Easton that much (which was about 5 inches apart)

Right then and there a distinct impression came to my mind to go grab a book in our library for the kids a book called, "Your're All my Favorites" It talks about 3 baby bears with their parents and how each of them wonder if their parents even love them. They begin to wonder how their parents could love them with patches or if daddy loved the other two more than the other or that the others are bigger then the littlest one.

So they then go to their parents and ask them who is their favorite because they all can't be the best. The first baby bear asks and is told that he is the most perfect first baby bear that anyone has ever seen. The book then goes through the same with the other two but substituting the words to second and third. The lesson to be learned is that the parents love them just the same and that they are all favorites.

It was a great reminder to me to analyze the time I am spending with each child and how Reeghan and Paetan both have the love language of "quality time" and that I need to reach out to them more equally and to not show any signs of favoritism. Reeghan is alot harder on herself than Paetan is and I believe that comes because she is the first born and she wants to please Trent and I.

Parenting is hard work but if you can learn about each child individually and find out what their needs are it will be a win win situation for both of you. This is about teamwork here and I have been constantly telling my girls our family motto of "Yes You Can" because at times life can get real hard and Yes I can be a good mom and love my children the way that I know how.

I just pray that this all made sense because it was a powerful lesson for me to learn today and now I want to share it so there you have it. Now go get "The 5 Love Languages for Kids" by Gary Chapman its a great read and will blow your mind!